“How’s your mother?”
“Mom? Mom’s always good!”
How many times a day do I have this exact exchange? (Many. Multiple. Everyone knows my mom. Everyone loves my mom.)
But the answer is consistent: Mom’s always good.
She is one of the most relentlessly optimistic people I know; seeing the best in unpleasant humans, remaining hopeful when things seem bleak, choosing to focus on the positive. (Optimism must not be hereditary, because naturally, I gotta admit – I tend to be pretty negative.) I admire Mom’s positivity though, and I can see how it attracts people to her. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone speak ill of that woman, and I think it has a lot to do with her positive energy.
Energy – you know what I’m talking about. Some people, you just feel it radiating off them. Positive-vibe’d people give you the warm fuzzies in their presence, and you leave the interaction feeling a little better, as if the feeling were contagious. These are the people you want to be around. Others, you hate to see coming. They enter the room like a storm cloud, bringing a damper to any good moods. Good or bad, we’re influenced by the energy of the people around us, and whether we realize it or not, our own energy affects others as well.
The energy or vibe (or aura, or spirit, or whatever you’d like to call it) a person carries can hugely influence how we feel about them. When I think about the people I love most, and the people that truly make me feel good to be around, their most common characteristic is positivity. Conversely, there are people who have an endless stream of complaints and sorrows, always finding the negative and spreading their storm cloud energy onto the people around them. It’s hard not to get sucked into that bad mood in their presence, and so I generally try my best to limit my interactions with them.
Trying to regulate my own energy, however, can be tricky. As I said, I lean towards the more pessimistic side of things. I could easily let that pessimism win, and be the negative unpleasant person that always has to spoil the mood. But I don’t want to be that person. No one wants to be that person, and no one wants to be around that person.
Honestly, sometimes – as much as I absolutely hate this expression – you’ve got to fake it til you make it. When a good mood just isn’t coming naturally, sometimes you’ve gotta force it until it becomes real. Somewhere deep inside you there’s a bit of positivity; all it needs is to be given some attention, and it’ll grow. That positivity will shine through to the people you interact with, and in turn, they’ll feel a lil better, and emit good vibes back atcha. It’s all reciprocal; sometimes we’ve all got to work together to spread the good vibes.
Yes, we’re all gonna have bad days, and that’s normal, and okay, and probably even good (y’know – balance!). But if you carry that negativity with you day after day, it’s exhausting, for you and the people around you. I try to keep that in mind and not be that person. I try to spread more sunshine than gloom, and I try to find the good in people and situations. It’s hard, but I’m practicing.
When I think about the kind of person I’d like to be, the simplest answer is the truest: I’d like to be like my mom. I’d like to be the positive, lovely-to-be-around person she is. I’d like to be known for good things. I’d like for people to ask “How’s Emily?” and for the answer to be, consistently: “Emily? She’s always good.”
lame thoughts, good vibes, lotsa love