a (cliché-filled) note to self

and to anyone else who needs to hear it:

Stop forcing things. Stop trying to control things that are not yours to control. Control freak or not, you’ve gotta let some things go.

Whatever your plans or goals or wishes are, the universe doesn’t really care. It’s listening, sure, and sometimes its plans will align with yours and things will work out *just perfectly*, but ultimately – the universe has the control. It has a plan for you, and trying to go against that plan does nothing but frustrate you and insult the universe’s wisdom. Stop fighting it.

In some cases it’s more obvious than others. Sometimes it’s easy to admit to ourselves, “okay, this is just not meant to happen”. In yoga, sometimes we’ll attempt a pose that’s maybe a lil too ambitious just yet, and our bodies will jam on the brakes. If you’re in a posture and it hurts, it’s a pretty sure sign to back off. It’s plain stupidity to try and force your body into poses that it’s not ready for; you’re only going to hurt yourself. In time, you’ll get there – or maybe not – but in the meantime, just accept that right now, it’s not for you. (HI, YES, I know I am terribly guilty of doing everything I just said not to. I’ll admit, I’m too stubborn for my own good).

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Other times, though, it’s more difficult to accept.

When you’ve been on the job hunt for months, and finally, finally get an interview, and it goes well, it’s pretty normal to get your hopes up, at least a little. Maybe even to the point of over-confidence, thinking “oh no worries, I got this“, and expecting a phone call with a job offer any minute. When that phone call does come through, but in the form of a cheery rejection email, it can be easy to get upset, deem yourself unfit-for-any-and-all-paying-jobs, and throw yourself a pity party (which may or may not have been how I reacted). But you know what? It just wasn’t meant for you, don’t be so hard on yourself. The universe is working away on something better for you, just have patience. The right job opportunity will come at you some day, totally out of the blue, and you’ll have your Oprah Aha moment. Sit tight, it’s all in the works.

Stop trying to force it.

That boy, the one who’s omg so perfect and we’d be the loveliest couple and why isn’t he in love with me yet??? ? He either likes you or he doesn’t. All the flirting and hinting and wishing in the world won’t change his mind. You’re kind of just making a fool of yourself, so chill. If he was the omg so perfect guy, you wouldn’t need to put in so much effort. That guy is out there, you just maybe haven’t met him yet. The universe will introduce you, when the time is right. Until then, just go with the flow; he’ll turn up eventually.

Stop trying to force it.

That friendship that’s begun to feel painfully inauthentic? The one that’s lasted years and years, but lately just feels like an obligation? It’s pretty normal to feel like we have to maintain these friendships, even long after they’ve stopped working. But the thing is – people change. Having met now, the two of you could have never hit it off. And that’s totally okay. Nothing against the other person – you’ve both just become different people that maybe aren’t meant to be joined-at-the-hip any longer.

Stop trying to force it.

Ultimately, what’s meant for you will find you. What’s not meant for you is a waste of time to try and force into being. The universe has wonderful, amazing things in store for you, but if you’re fighting it every step of the way, you might miss out on a lot of the joy that’s also headed your way.

Stop trying to force things. Just relax. Trust the universe.
It’s all going to work out, and it’s all going to be wonderful.


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