Brains are so weird.
If you were to ask me post-yoga class what I spent the last five/ten minutes thinking about, I would have absolutely no idea. I could guarantee however, that my mind was anything but the serene, blissful abyss it’s “supposed” to be during savasana.
Yup – another bad yogi confession: I am bad at savasana.
Lying in corpse pose on my mat, the second I close my eyes to spend the last ten minutes of class in final relaxation, my mind starts to go. During the active part of class, I have the movements and feelings in my body to focus on, so my monkey mind takes a little rest. Then, during savasana, it’s like my thoughts have all exhausted their willpower to “behave”, and break free.
It’s funny though. Most other times when I let my mind wander, the immediate destination for my thoughts is somewhere critical or anxiety-related. But during savasana, it’s a whole different kind of thinking – a lazy, loopy meander through all kinds of irrelevant topics. I could be thinking about goats or bagels or why-did-Crayola-retire-the-color-Dandelion? – but it’s rarely anything consequential.
For a while, I gave myself grief about my inability to quiet my mind. If savasana is “the most important part of yoga class”, and I can’t do it, what does that say about me as a yogi?? Am I faking it? Am I completely missing the point of doing yoga at all?
I’ve come to a realization, though. Berating myself for not being a savasana master is having the opposite effect of what’s intended. Why add one more thing to my brain to worry and feel bad about? Instead, I’m trying to just accept it is what it is. So what if I don’t have 100% control to empty my mind? I’m still giving myself ten minutes of relaxation, of just lying on the floor, that I wouldn’t normally have throughout the rest of my day.
Maybe some day I’ll be that spiritual, zen AF yogi who can easily release her thoughts and slip into a peaceful savasana. I kinda doubt it, but maybe. But even if I never reach that place of enlightenment, I’m no less of a yogi for it. That golden rule about “no judgment, no expectation, and no competition”? I’m applying it here. As long as I leave yoga class without pain and in a better headspace, I think it’s a success. Anything more “enlightened” is a bonus.
Oh -PS: I’ll be missing from the blog for the next week or so. I’m off to a lil yoga retreat vacay in Portugal! Don’t worry, I’ll have pictures and stories when I’m back 🙂
Til then, mai pen rai, good vibes to you