What if no one shows up? What if a lot of people show up? What if “Real Yogis” come and can tell I don’t know what I’m doing???
I’m trying not to stress, but these are just some of the worries bouncing around my head. I’ll be teaching my first open-to-anyone yoga class tomorrow, and my brain is having a field day inventing new “what if”s to throw at me. I know it’s ridiculous – I caught myself looking at my toenails earlier and thinking that I better paint them nicer so that no one would judge my ugly toes. Ridiculous, right?
As terrified as I am, I’m also incredibly excited. This feels like the start of something big. It feels good to finally have a thing that I’m good at, and to be able to share that and teach that to others? So cool.
I’ve been joking for ages “oh haha, yeah, I’ll just run away and teach yoga on a beach somewhere”, obviously never thinking of that as a realistic life plan. Of course, I’d absolutely love to be able to do that, but hey, this is the real world, with bills and family and responsibilities and shit. Teaching yoga here might have to suffice as my little escape from the day to day. Then again, this step forward makes me think the whole living-the-yogi-dream life might not be completely impossible. Who knows.
So – tomorrow. I have my class planned out, I have my favorite yoga pants ready to go, I’ve made the Facebook announcement. No use in stressing myself out about it; even if I mess up, I know I can laugh it off, and do better next time. No one starts out an expert, right?
mai pen rai, no worries.